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1 HOUSE RESOLUTION
2 WHEREAS, June 21, 2001 commemorates the 50th anniversary
3 of the birth of Sean Thaddeus Erwin to John and Patricia
4 Erwin in Detroit, Michigan; and
5 WHEREAS, Sean's great enthusiasm for entering the world
6 surprised even his parents since he arrived two months early
7 with little warning; and
8 WHEREAS, Due to the loving care and attention of his
9 parents, highly-skilled pediatric specialists and a recycled
10 incubator, young Sean was welcomed home by his loving,
11 dotting older sister; and
12 WHEREAS, Sean's younger years were marked by noteworthy
13 falls on the head including a spectacular double-somersault
14 out the car door on the Henry Ford Expressway resulting in a
15 fractured skull and a somewhat less-thrilling dive from the
16 front porch of his home in Birmingham, Michigan; and
17 WHEREAS, Despite severe trauma's to the head, Sean
18 progressed through elementary school, charming the nuns to
19 the disdain of his older sister who was always in trouble in
20 school; and
21 WHEREAS, The adolescent years were marked by the usual
22 family feuds and general discord associated with the trials
23 and tribulations of growing up in a traditional 1950's Ozzie
24 and Harriet home where mom stayed home to bake cookies all
25 day and gracefully declined to hold any personal opinions on
26 politics or the news of the day; and
27 WHEREAS, Sean adjusted to a life of being the new kid in
28 school in Michigan, Ohio and Illinois much better than his
29 sister, who continued to cause strain and anxiety in the
30 family, thus diverting attention away from the mischief of
31 both Sean and the newer addition to the family, Edward; and
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1 WHEREAS, Sean's early work experience fitting women's fat
2 feet into too small shoes at Baskin's in Oakbrook, helped
3 shape a strong work ethic, but disdain for work involving
4 either heavy lifting or women's feet; and
5 WHEREAS, A distinguished college career at Northern
6 Illinois University was marked by both academic and social
7 success, becoming an officer of his fraternity where he
8 learned valuable skills like how to drink beer in 1001 new
9 ways; and
10 WHEREAS, Sean's great moment of brilliance came when he
11 asked Amy Lester to be his bride, however failing to inform
12 her that he would be starring in a sequel to "The Fugitive"
13 requiring that he pull up stakes every couple of years to
14 either escape his past or, move up another rung on the
15 corporate ladder; and
16 WHEREAS, Sean and Amy wasted little time welcoming
17 Benjamin Thomas as their first born and every year following,
18 welcoming Matthew, Katie, and Kevin until Kimberly Clark was
19 assured that enough Baby Kimbies would be sold to keep him
20 employed and Amy announced, "Enough already!"; and
21 WHEREAS, Sean weathered the storms of parenting largely
22 by being at work and out of whatever country they happen to
23 be living in at the time, but making up for it by being a
24 truly great dad and all-around "really nice guy", according
25 to number four child, Kevin; a real soft touch to his only
26 daughter Katie; and a friend and mentor to Ben, Matt and all
27 the kids; and
28 WHEREAS, Having trotted around the globe for the glory of
29 Kleenex, Depends and Baby Kimbies, the Erwin family is most
30 grateful that Sean has decided to rejoin the entire family in
31 Alpharetta, Georgia, making his parents, sister and brother
32 also happy that he's back, but sad that they may never get to
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1 see Australia again; and
2 WHEREAS, It is fitting and appropriate that having
3 already lost and regained his hair several times, Sean's June
4 2001 50th birthday celebration will be marked by his
5 children, family and friends with the usual class and decorum
6 of say, "Animal House"; therefore, be it
7 RESOLVED, BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE
8 NINETY-SECOND GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS, that
9 we join in congratulating Sean Erwin on reaching the ripe old
10 age of 50 years old and respectfully suggesting that he check
11 for any back taxes due to the State of Illinois so we can
12 continue to pay his sister's public salary; and be it
13 resolved
14 RESOLVED, That a suitable copy of this resolution be
15 presented to Sean Erwin to symbolize our best wishes as he
16 celebrates 50 years of life, love, health and happiness with
17 his family and send our sincere hope that he enjoys at least
18 50 more years, which he surely will, if he will just listen
19 to what his mother tells him about his diet and health.